How’s everything going with you? 
Are you remembering to put one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time? Are you being kind to yourself during this journey? 

So I was talking to a friend about this exciting (and sometimes exhausting) entrepreneur life and it made me think back to when I first decided I wanted to make a website and blog back in 2015. I remember thinking and talking to God about it and asking “Like what if no one reads my blogs? Seriously who’s going to care what I write?”

And of course God’s emphatic response was: 
“Do what you’re being led to do. Not just what you think people will show up for.” 

That was enough to help me with my launch  February 2015, but as I got into it and blogged week after week, month after month with almost no views, it got kind of lonely…sad. I interpreted that to mean, people didn’t care what I had to say/the work I was putting out. So naturally, I went back to God with it, like “Now God, you said – “ I was quickly cut off because God had his reply super ready for me: 
“I want to know that you can show up for 2 people the same way you would show up for 1000 people.”

So in other words – God told me he needed me to be faithful and manage the little he was giving me NOW, so that I would know how to handle and manage the more later.  

I get a little teary-eyes writing that because that’s a very on-time message for me right now. And I know it is for you too, otherwise I wouldn’t be crying in this parking lot as I type this out lol. 

As you continue to take steps forward in 2020, remember: Every season, stage and phase has a beginning. You have to start somewhere and sometimes it won’t be a lot. But as your trusting your truth and being led to certain places, follow faithfully. Manage your portions well and make the most of it! If you’re feeling stuck or lost somewhere, don’t be afraid to call on God for more direction. 

Don’t be discouraged, friend. Your grind is not in vain. Just be sure to keep showing up and to keep going no matter what it looks like. 
-Lauren

Luke 16:10-12
“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven? And if you are not faithful with other people’s things, why should you be trusted with things of your own?”
https://www.bible.com/116/luk.16.10-12.nlt

Matthew‬ ‭25:14-27‬ ‭(NLT‬‬)
“Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. He gave five bags of silver to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip. “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money. “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’ “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together! ’ “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’ “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’ “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’ “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’”
https://www.bible.com/116/mat.25.14-27.nlt

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Sometimes, I silence my voice or deny myself an opportunity to experience and enjoy something because I fail to realize it’s a gift. I downplay it or I ignore it or a I take it for granted.

I have to practice calling my love what it is. I have to stop calling my passion a hobby and better yet, I have to stop treating my passion as a hobby. If I love it, it’s only right that I do/be it.

A lot of times, fear stands in the place of execution. Or even that annoying voice that tries to tell me I’m not special/unique/original/creative/pretty/entrepreneurial/confident enough to do what I want to do/be. But I am enough. I am dope as is in whichever space I choose to find my truth.

—-

Not everyone can do what YOU do. No one else can BE YOU. There may be some very similar in the same field or lane, but YOU hold your own special place. No one (not one) can take that which is yours. So give your gift it’s proper credit. Love on it; Call it by it’s name; pursue it!

—-

PS: I don’t know if y’all have been listening to the Jesus and Jollof podcast by Luvvie Ajayi and Yvonne Orji, but episode 3 and 4 blessed my ENTIRE soul so much so that I keep re-listening and finding new nuggets. Take a listen!

—-

This is a quick share simply to affirm in you (and myself) TRUTH. Love y’all – Lauren

I’d think on it for a second and then lose focus and continue on with my work. After the 4th time I figured I should probably take the question seriously. If God’s asking four times then He must need my attention (I’m so hard headed).

So I put everything down and simply answered the question…well tried to, but I found it a little difficult. Truth is, when I first got the question over a week ago, I couldn’t answer it then either and it’s easiest to just ignore/avoid. So that’s what I did…avoided. But here it is again…“Lauren, who do you say you are?”

I am Lauren…I’m dope; full of love and light; super caring. i’m a good problem solver. i’m a beautiful human being with lots to share with others. i’m confident; I have a presence that is often felt, but not overbearing; I am Lauren…I’m empathetic – my heart is big; I’m a good listener with deep-rooted wisdom. I am Lauren…I’m goofy and a little awkward at times.

That took me a little time to answer, honestly. I know I’m a dope person. It’s just not always a fluid thought – but why is that? I think at one point it used to be, but it faded some when I started second guessing myself in everything I did and thought. I started caring more of how I came off to others and even what they thought.

We are quick to ask what others think of us or even who we want to be to the world, but WHO DO YOU SAY YOU ARE? I hope that question stays with you until you can answer it and its fluid for you. I kind of want it haunt you (and me). Not in an eerie way…I just want us to ask ourselves and know the answer. Its your truth. Your truth is to be treasured far more than who and what everyone else says.

We gotta affirm that which is inside and not just what others see in us. Because when we know it’ll be shown in how we walk, talk, AND how we think.

So…who do you say you are?

It seemed like such a great goal to achieve that summer (and it was so needed, especially at that time), but as y’all know, we learn, we evolve, we change and we have to continue to get to know the person we are becoming. Sometimes that requires us to learn how to love ourselves in new ways too.

Previously, I had an abundant amount of free time, that I pretty much dedicated to just me..I worked out, I read books, I wrote, I planned for the future, I slept, I communed with others from time to time. Now, I have a demanding job, a husband, bills, responsibilities, commitments, a miniature social life, etc. And in all that, it’s imperative that I still find time for Lauren.

Even as other things fight to take my attention, I can’t forget my priorities.

Put importance on your priorities.

I have workaholic tendencies, so my hubby, being the caring and observant person he is, asked me when’s the last time I did something exclusively for Lauren. Of course he already knew the answer to that question, so he politely broke it down to me like this:

“You have 24 hours in a day – approximately 1/3 of the day goes to sleep/rest, the other 1/3 goes to your job and that last 1/3 of the pie – should go to you.”

I don’t know about you, but this was new to me. It’s very logical and makes complete sense, but I quickly found all the faults in his simple theory: it’s not realistic; what about all my other responsibilities; My job requires me to do work after hours; how would this work if you have a family?

Again, he knows me well so he was quick to rebut with “…that’s why I challenge you to give yourself just one hour per day where you’re doing nothing, but something enjoyable to you.”

I agreed with him that, that sounded simple and easy enough to do. And then POW! 2 months go by and here I am asking myself why I’ve yet to do more than 3 “Hour for Lauren.” I’ve come to the conclusion, that I make a lot of EXCUSES for why I can’t do something, because at this point in my life, where things seem pretty busy, I haven’t made myself much of a priority.

I know in theory, that I have to love and love on Lauren, but I put forth little effort to actually make that happen. I mean well, but I don’t necessarily do well.

We can intend to do something, but intention and action are 2 different things.

Anyone else at that same place? Intending to do well, but not really doing it??

What’s an excuse you cannot make for yourself today?

Personally, I can no longer stand behind the excuse that I have to work.

I’ve broken this down for me like this – Sure, there’s work that needs to get done, but my life goal is not to work myself to death; Not everything has to be done right then and there, some things can wait until the next day;  I also can’t be the best me at my job if I’m not renewing myself on a consistent basis.

I believe there’s time that can be dedicated to just you, it’s just a matter of us finding it and whole-heartedly believing we are worthy and deserving of that time.

We gotta do a better of job of not just talking about loving ourselves, but actually relinquishing those distractions and excuses, and making it a habit and priority.

-Lauren Relinquished <3

**So as you all know, shortie got married *oooooouuuuuu* So, I wanted to write a quick blog post to give insight, show appreciation, give shout outs! There’s no way we could have done it by ourselves so the support around us has meant so much! I also wanted to share because I don’t loosen reigns all that easily, so planning over the last year has definitely been a testament of RELINQUISHING. I’ve personally learned a lot about myself; My husband and I have learned a lot; we’ve learned alot about how we work together as a couple; we’ve learned a lot about the people around us  too! It’s been quite the experience to say the least…**

Marrying my best friend: 

We’re definitely excited for this part of the journey tho!!

The support systems: 

 

Family! Wow wow wow! Thank you all so much! To the mommas, dad, sisters! Y’all came throughhhhh! We love y’all so much! Thank you for supporting us and then some! For the wisdom, the love, the calls, the just in cases, sacrifice, finances, EVERYTHING!

Let me tell y’all bout my wedding planner and coordinator thOooo. She often knew before i did. Challenged me to create my vision and walked me through the steps to make it come alive. When i deterred and wanted to be basic, she wouldn’t let me and always did so in the most loving of ways! Like y’all, she’s just amazing!  I’m definitely hard-headed and a lot of times didn’t want to take the help, but she insisted with a smile on her face. I can honestly say the day wouldn’t have come together if it weren’t for her. I’m a procrastinator and her leading and questions were clutch. I’m sure she wanted to hit me upside the head a couple times, BUT she did everything with so much love and professionalism. I’d recommend her to everyone I know! Currently planning? Looking to get married in a few years? Your cousin’s brother’s homeboy getting married? You need to know her. She did alterations on my dress (y’all saw me looking like a snack), my BEAUTIFUL head piece and bomb earrings to match! She even hand made my garter (i wanna cry thinking of how much she helped me). My point being – call her! Hit me up for the deets! Rajeanne Bridal –  THANK YOU! 

The melanin magic: 

So many beautiful brown people. My eyes were so in love  big shout out to our families – mommas, daddies, sisters, pastors for showing up and showing out! Y’all fine! And of course the entire bride squad and all groomsmen! Yall’s support and sacrifices have meant so much to us and we are forever grateful! That “whatever it takes attitude” has us forever indebted. Our hearts are warmed and it meant so much to share the day with y’all!

Hired services and even more support: 

Loved the opportunity to work with these peeps to make the day everything and then some. My sanDs Courtney and Brittany are so bomb for coming through as make up artists and literally slaying! Y’all did an amazing job – faces were beat with excellence and i can’t thank y’all enough *muah*

Shout out to Mr. Ray Keith IV for coming through for the men – everyone looked so handsome and stylish – thank you for seeing the vision and making it greater! I ain’t always the easiest to work with but you pushed through and we appreciate you good sir!

Shout out to my wedding singer – Tonie Cole! Voice of an angel! Choked up walking down the aisle! So special and such an amazing touch. Your professionalism is a breath of fresh air and your helpfulness is amazing! You even stopped in early and helped with some eyebrows (lol thanks girl!) can’t thank you enough!

Photography and Videography provided by Degrace Imagery! We opted for the wedding package and had an engagement photoshoot included. Hubby actually hates taking pics but they made us feel so comfortable. I’ll do a separate post of photos, but I wanted to shoutout the husband wife team because their awesome!

This morning I found myself in the book of Numbers with the Children of Israel (I often read an aspect of The Children of Israel story and think they’re so ridiculous how they carry on and doubt, etc. But then I’m shown how similar I am to them. LOL in my every day life, I too struggle with doubt and forgetfulness and much more).

So at this particular place in Numbers, Moses has just sent a spy party out to canvas the area and find their promised land flowing with milk and honey (Numbers 13:1-3, 21-25). When the spy party returns, they tell all the people that the land flows with milk and honey, BUT there are giants living there who are much more powerful than they and there’s no way they can get the land. They even go as far as to suggest they find a leader to take them back to Egypt because they think they should have never left in the first place (Numbers 13:26-33, 14:1-4).

Y’all on the outside looking in, I am soooooooo confused as to why these fools are trying to go back! I almost threw my phone reading that – like what the heck?!

But then, I could see the correlation to that in my life. Can I be real with y’all? There are several unknowns when starting a business. Relinquish has been such a blessing and a challenge and thorn in my side. And honestly I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time, and I get a gnawing a feeling that maybe I should just close down shop and that “at least I can say I did it” attitude with the fake smile through the tears. But can I tell you – that mindset is such a cop out! Just like the children of Isreal, God has done numerous things to get me to where I am now. HE HAS MADE A WAY! He’s parted the Red Sea; He’s given food in barren paces; He’s led and guided me and STILL I get to a place and get presented with a few challenges and I’m ready to throw in the towel?? Like NAH bruh! Don’t just give up like that! Pause and ask “How did I get to this point!?”

Back to the story – apparently Joshua (who went out with the spy party) has some sense! He’s like (paraphrasing) “is that really all y’all saw?! God didn’t bring us to this land for us to be intimidated by the giants and go home.” And I think perhaps the dopest thing Joshua says is “…do not rebel against the LORD, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread…”(Numbers‬ ‭14:9‬). <— Are y’all reading that?!? He said those giants are bread! That giant, that challenge, that mountain, that hurdle (whatever you are facing) should not be looked at as a wall but as a source of fuel (food) to give you energy to keep going!!!!

LORD HAVE MERCY!! I just took a lap around my townhouse y’all. I’m out of breath and don’t have anything left, so I leave you with this – as you recall how you got to this point, make sure you note every time The Lord has allocated; Every time He has made a way; Every time he has provided for you; Every time He protected you. And see there is a REASON you stand where you are today. Don’t turn back because it’s difficult or unclear. Follow through with what The Lord has started!

Love y’all! –

Lauren Relinquished <3

Be here at this time; connect with this person; sell this account; handle this service issue; fill out paper work; call this person; etc. And because of the demand, I seldom take a break. However today is different. Over the last couple months, I’ve been really been mindful of my peace. Where it’s at? What’s standing in the way of it? What foundation its built on; etc.

My peace is so important to me. I think I’ve known that on a basic level, but never truly understood that until life got real, REAL (so to speak). Like, when I was in a depressed state, peace usually felt pretty unattainable. And then like now, having a sales job, there are a lot of stressors at play. And if not careful, they’ll run you. I can’t have that tho. My being CANNOT be dependent on every little thing around me affecting me. I have to be able to take things as they come (because life is always throwing stuff; and people are continually…um people lol), so I have to be able to manage what’s “real” and whats not; what I can change and what I cannot: What’s worth my attention and what is not; Etc.

So today, I decided to take a quick break….enjoy this bench in this breezeway and enjoy and regain my peace. Because I should and I can.

-Lauren Relinquished

RelinquishWear.com

I woke up Saturday feeling slightly adventuresome so I text my favorite partner-in-crime and asked “Will you go exploring with me today!?” 

Here’s some of our day…

*click on the right and left of the image above to view photos*

-Lauren Relinquished <3

1. You don’t ask for help
2. You don’t know how to take constructive criticism
3. You’re waiting for “it” to happen

Since a fire was just lit under my bum, I figured it is only right to pass that same fire onto YOU.

Whatever your next step, or thing you’re supposed to be doing, or that thing you’ve been dreaming about is, I’m going to need you to stop making excuses and get on it. Chances are that, that dream/goal does not require rocket science (sorry, but I’ve met most of y’all and none of y’all were geniuses). Most likely what you need is some motivation, someone to tell you that your idea is worth the work, someone to hold you accountable, prayer and sacrifice.

You gotta get out there and do it. Grind some details out and start putting all those ideas to some kind of action. Like seriously, if you’ve been dreaming about this thing for over a year – the time has really come for you to do something!

Stop letting your dreams/goals just go by the wayside – get busy…NOW!

-Lauren