For some reason it hit me really hard this morning that I’m in a state of waiting. To be honest, it really pissed me off. Like waiting for what?!?
The only thing that I should seriously be waiting for is the day The Lord comes back, and I’m pretty sure scripture doesn’t instruct us to put everything on hold until then. I’ve GOT to keep moving and going.
When we’re in a perpetual state of waiting, there’s only one thing that comes from it – delaying or never doing something until the another thing happens.
Don’t get me wrong. I think there’s a time and place for everything (and there are times to wait), but waiting doesn’t mean you stop living and being (sheesh, I don’t think I can say that enough).
We wait for so many things in order to feel complete. I think the hardest thing for me this morning was realizing that even when I reach the things I’m waiting for, I’ll still just be in another state of waiting for the next thing. I think it’d be different if in my head I didn’t constantly think I needed something in order to do something else.
And I think I use “waiting” a lot of times as an excuse. It’s easier a lot of times to say I’ll do this when this happens…
For instance, there’s this work project that I find myself increasingly annoyed by every email I receive on it. Mostly because I didn’t want the project in the first place – I was kind of volun-told (when you’re volunteered/told by someone else to do something). On top of that, I’m busy and have some other work things going on that I’m trying to work through. So the timing of this project just isn’t great. My mindset on the whole thing is kind of crappy tho… I keep thinking – if this project came at another time – I’d do a much better job. But the reality is, it’s on my plate now.
So I can’t just wait to get less busy – first of all, it doesn’t work like that and second I can’t just neglect it because I don’t want to do it. If I wait for one thing in order to do another thing, I miss out on the opportunity that’s in front of me presently. It’s true – I don’t want to do it, but this project could help me gain some professional leadership experience, help me build my network and grow advocates (because we know a lot of how the real world works is based on who you know and not just what you know). So there’s definitely some benefits to not delaying, but if my mindset says “wait,” I can’t grow, learn nor experience.
I also find myself holding my breath in my relationship. I’m waiting, but then there’ll be something else to wait for and then something else to wait for and so on and so on… I literally had to tell myself “Bruh, chill. 🙄✋🏾 Just go with the flow!” I just want to enjoy the present and what life has for me to enjoy right now. And I can’t do that if I’m always waiting. Period.
Care to join me in a toast?
*lifts glass*
Here’s to not waiting in order to LIVE! 🍻🎉🎈